Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Difficulties of Letting Go

Today I found that it is just as difficult now to leave H at school as it was the first day, perhaps harder because I didn't have anyone with me. Most mornings Husband takes him to school and picks him up because he can. I love that H gets special time with his daddy. Today I got to take all the kiddos and drop H off. I found it just as difficult, if not more so, to watch him go stand with his classmates, walk through the gate without me, find his name tag (without help), and go to the playground to play until it was time to line up. As I drove away I watched him try to hold another student's hand on the way to line up and that student told him no. Little things that make me wish I could be there with him. I want to play with him on the playground, I want to hold his hand, I want to sit with him and help him, and I have to let go. As I drove home I called Husband and let him know that I was glad he did drop-offs normally. It think I was closer to tears today than I was on day 1. I realize that being 34 weeks pregnant doesn't help with that, but letting go is hard. H is happy, he had a good day, and I am grateful that he is ready to walk a little ways without me. Now, I just have to prepare myself to let go so he can.

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