Blog your heart

A couple things on my mind and heart the last week or so.

- Someone my husband knows died recently in a car accident. I'd met the man once before, but didn't really know him beyond that. He had a wife and child (the child is the same age as our oldest). Every time I think about them my heart breaks. I can't imagine life without my husband. Everyday he goes to work, and thankfully everyday he comes home. I know his job comes with risks, and usually I don't give them a second thought, but after this accident (which was not work related) I find my mind wandering to the risks more often. I know he does everything he can to be safe, but I want to grow old with him. I want to be like that couple that died together holding hands after 72 years of marriage.

- Babies. I have three of them. I want more, but I don't know if we should have more. I don't know if now is the right time. We've talked about adopting (even before we had children) and I don't know if we're going to do that either. Husband would prefer to have more soon rather than later, and I understand that, but I don't know what to do. I love my boys, and sometimes I look at them and think they are just the right amount. They are active and full of energy and all of them always seem to want me at the same time (making my lap seem just a little too small). Then there is the part of my heart that looks at them and wants more. I love the idea of a big family. Of course, you throw our family joke of triplets is next in there and I'm not sure how I would hand three at a time. One was easy (he was an easy baby), two was interesting (they're still easy babies for the most part), but three...I realize the odds are very small that we'd end up with triplets, but we weren't expecting twins either. I'd much rather be mentally prepared for three and be amazed at the easy of going back to one.

So there it is, life and death crowding my thoughts when I'm not thinking of the present moment. Thankfully, the present moment takes up a lot of time because with 3-5 kids running around our house on any given day, time moves very quickly.

Life's random bits

Okay, I've been extremely terrible about blogging for the last month or so. We went on vacation, and I planned on getting back into the swing, but I haven't. I've thought about it, and then done nothing (much like my journaling issues sometimes). The intention was there, the follow through wasn't. So, here are some random bits of life for the last few weeks.

We went on our family vacation to Texas and Oklahoma. This is something we look forward to every year. I love visiting with my brother and his family, my aunt and cousins, and Husband's grandma (and other family if time permits). We drive, which is interesting with three active boys all under the age of four, but it wasn't bad. There was a lot of stopping, swapping books/toys, movie watching, napping (less napping than anything else of course). It was a good trip. As the boys get older I look forward to this more and more because they will start remembering things. We can take them places (in addition to family homes) and have them enjoy and interact with those places. This years extra stops included a model train museum, train ride and pumpkin patch visit, Cadillac Ranch in Amarillo, Tx, parks throughout NM, and the train in Kingman, Az. It was a lot of fun.

Hotel stays

Can you see the family resemblance?

Harold's Model Train Museum (Tyler, Tx)

Husband and H

At the pumpkin patch

G, H, and J with Mema H.

Mine and my brother's kids

G, H, and J with Great Grandma G.

Cadillac Ranch (Amarillo, Tx)

Santa Rosa, Nm

Kingman, Az

Coming back we had a few days before jumping back into work. It felt (and still feels) so good to be home. Husband went back to work and I started babysitting S again. She seemed excited to see the boys after our two week hiatus and they have been playing like brothers and a sister since. She really stands up to them, which is funny to see since she's smaller and younger than all of them. She doesn't take any flack and J is a lot more possessive of her and wanting to play with her since our return also.

This past weekend we had a visit from Husband's parents (always a nice thing), I had a bridal shower for my sister-friend, and there was a birthday celebration for our nephew. Today is baking day (before the zucchini goes bad). Husband is excited about that because he loves this new carrot-zucchini bar recipe (substitute apple sauce for oil, add 3/4 cup oatmeal).

It feels good to be back in our routine.