Perspective 2

It hasn't been the most amazing day, but that sentiment really comes from the last few hours of the afternoon/evening. H did amazing at school and then came home and decided listening and doing homework didn't make the best use of his talents. The twins were running around and making tons of noise which didn't make homework easier. W was hungry - the easiest problem to solve. Husband was going to run...except he didn't leave right away and he didn't wrangle other kids while I tried to help with homework. Then I spilled water all over the table and homework and mail because G wouldn't listen. Lots of frustration. Things did calm down a little and we had dinner and homework was finished and Husband ran and children bathed and W went to bed and the boys and I played Sorry for 15 minutes before they went to bed. Everyone went to bed well, except G.

As G turned to go to bed I noticed a lump on his neck. it is huge! I freaked. Visions of cancer and my poor little baby who is only days from being four jumped into my head. I took pictures and sent them to my mom and sister.

We went to urgent care and found out it isn't the serious I imagined. His lymph node is infected and we started antibiotics. Big sigh of relief.

Part of my freaking out had to do with it having been a busy day. I don't know how long he's looked like this. I like to think I'd have noticed, but who knows. I was frustrated and yelling and really just hadn't paid him enough attention today. All my boys fall, trip, smack, jump, etc. into things and eachother and I had no clue if this was something I'd missed earlier when he had come to me for some reason or another. I felt responsible if it were something terrible because I should have known or noticed. I realize this is not the most rational thinking. That happens when children take over, rationality goes straight out the window.

Onto perspective: my attitude today, especially this afternoon, really affected how I reacted tonight, and especially how I felt about and critiqued myself. I am so thankful that it is only an infection. I am so thankful for the health of my children!