Scary

Our world is scary. I know this. It isn't surprising news. I imagine that 50 years ago people were saying the same thing. Perhaps is wasn't because there were school shootings or terrorist attacks, but there was still violence. Last week that violence hit home. The small town where my parents and Husband's parents live had a school shooting. Add to that the knowledge that my mother-in-law works at that school. When I first got the message about the shooting I sent it on to Husband. After another notification from a different family member a few minutes later I looked it up on the internet to see what information I could find out. There were two people injured. That made me feel better in relation to my mother-in-law being ok (and she is, we got world a little later in the afternoon saying she was). The reports on what happened trickled in throughout the day and the next. There was a teacher and another adult who helped talk the student with the gun down and those men deserve credit for their part in what went on. The teachers and staff went into lock down mode to help keep students safe and that is great. I won't go into my views on gun control because I don't want to get into a debate with anyone (I find it doesn't often help and this situation hasn't changed them). The whole point of this post is to say that something I've experienced backlash of as an American has finally affected me more personally. As Husband picked H up from school I thought about H being in school. The small town our parents live in is not a place I would ever have imagined would make it's way into the news because of a school shooting. I don't ever want my sons to experience anything like that, either in their own school or in a nearby school, but I don't control the world. I've thought about keeping him home and homeschooling him, but I think that might drive both of us insane. His safety is my priority, and right now I think he is plenty safe at his school. That might change, and then so will his mode of education. I had hoped to get all these thoughts out on Thursday, and that didn't happen. Despite this reminder of the scary parts of life, life did go on. I had children to take care of, meals to prepare, bath times and bedtimes to enforce. There was vacuuming and dishes, laundry and toy pick-up, hugs and cuddles, discipline and fun to be had over the last four days. When I got the first text I was in disbelief, that was followed by a need to talk to Husband and worry for my mother-in-law. I didn't like the not knowing. Even in all of that, life went on. The twins wanted snacks and to ride their bikes. W wanted to nurse and be held and to play and sleep. I'm not sure where I'm going with all of these thoughts, but I wanted to get them down. I suppose that I've come/returned to the conclusion that our world is scary but life continues on. I fear for the future my children will have, but life continues on and we will make the best of it that we can.