Blog your heart

A couple things on my mind and heart the last week or so.

- Someone my husband knows died recently in a car accident. I'd met the man once before, but didn't really know him beyond that. He had a wife and child (the child is the same age as our oldest). Every time I think about them my heart breaks. I can't imagine life without my husband. Everyday he goes to work, and thankfully everyday he comes home. I know his job comes with risks, and usually I don't give them a second thought, but after this accident (which was not work related) I find my mind wandering to the risks more often. I know he does everything he can to be safe, but I want to grow old with him. I want to be like that couple that died together holding hands after 72 years of marriage.

- Babies. I have three of them. I want more, but I don't know if we should have more. I don't know if now is the right time. We've talked about adopting (even before we had children) and I don't know if we're going to do that either. Husband would prefer to have more soon rather than later, and I understand that, but I don't know what to do. I love my boys, and sometimes I look at them and think they are just the right amount. They are active and full of energy and all of them always seem to want me at the same time (making my lap seem just a little too small). Then there is the part of my heart that looks at them and wants more. I love the idea of a big family. Of course, you throw our family joke of triplets is next in there and I'm not sure how I would hand three at a time. One was easy (he was an easy baby), two was interesting (they're still easy babies for the most part), but three...I realize the odds are very small that we'd end up with triplets, but we weren't expecting twins either. I'd much rather be mentally prepared for three and be amazed at the easy of going back to one.

So there it is, life and death crowding my thoughts when I'm not thinking of the present moment. Thankfully, the present moment takes up a lot of time because with 3-5 kids running around our house on any given day, time moves very quickly.

Life's random bits

Okay, I've been extremely terrible about blogging for the last month or so. We went on vacation, and I planned on getting back into the swing, but I haven't. I've thought about it, and then done nothing (much like my journaling issues sometimes). The intention was there, the follow through wasn't. So, here are some random bits of life for the last few weeks.

We went on our family vacation to Texas and Oklahoma. This is something we look forward to every year. I love visiting with my brother and his family, my aunt and cousins, and Husband's grandma (and other family if time permits). We drive, which is interesting with three active boys all under the age of four, but it wasn't bad. There was a lot of stopping, swapping books/toys, movie watching, napping (less napping than anything else of course). It was a good trip. As the boys get older I look forward to this more and more because they will start remembering things. We can take them places (in addition to family homes) and have them enjoy and interact with those places. This years extra stops included a model train museum, train ride and pumpkin patch visit, Cadillac Ranch in Amarillo, Tx, parks throughout NM, and the train in Kingman, Az. It was a lot of fun.

Hotel stays

Can you see the family resemblance?

Harold's Model Train Museum (Tyler, Tx)

Husband and H

At the pumpkin patch

G, H, and J with Mema H.

Mine and my brother's kids

G, H, and J with Great Grandma G.

Cadillac Ranch (Amarillo, Tx)

Santa Rosa, Nm

Kingman, Az

Coming back we had a few days before jumping back into work. It felt (and still feels) so good to be home. Husband went back to work and I started babysitting S again. She seemed excited to see the boys after our two week hiatus and they have been playing like brothers and a sister since. She really stands up to them, which is funny to see since she's smaller and younger than all of them. She doesn't take any flack and J is a lot more possessive of her and wanting to play with her since our return also.

This past weekend we had a visit from Husband's parents (always a nice thing), I had a bridal shower for my sister-friend, and there was a birthday celebration for our nephew. Today is baking day (before the zucchini goes bad). Husband is excited about that because he loves this new carrot-zucchini bar recipe (substitute apple sauce for oil, add 3/4 cup oatmeal).

It feels good to be back in our routine.

The Boys Are Back in Town

My boys are back home. They were only gone for about 36 hours, not TOO long; just enough to be missed and give me a break. They went to visit the multitude of grandparents that live a few hours north of us. I'm glad Husband took the boys, they haven't visited with those grandparents for a few months. I had to stay and babysit, and that's okay. I had a chance to relax, to watch a movie, to get some sewing done, to fold clothes once instead of multiple times before I put them away. I had a chance to get the house looking better (not as good as I could - I was lazy). I had a chance to just be me. I loved my break, but I love my boys more. It feels good to have them all home. I love that I am back to hugs and cuddles. I love that they want me. I love that this house has life in it once more instead of being so quiet.

Sidewalk Art

When we visit our Alma Matar (down the street), we usually go in the back way (it's faster when we walk). I noticed this sidewalk art around Sept. 11th.

Ps. 118:8 - It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man. (NASB).

It's still there. It's interesting. It's in an out of the way corridor, one very few people ever go and I wonder why they chose this place. I wonder a lot about this particular writing; what made them decide to do this, why did they chose that verse, how old were they when this happened, and the list goes on.

It was on my mind, so I thought I'd share.

1950's Housewife

Today was a 50's themed bridal shower for my sister-friend. I got the idea for the theme from my cousins. It turned out nice, there were about 12 people who showed up (counting us). Very family oriented. The best part was seeing those who chose to dress up.

Back when I started planning this several weeks ago, I thought it would be easy to dress up for the shower. I planned on wearing a button-up shirt, skirt, and apron with pearls. Well, Thursday I tried on the skirt I was thinking of and it didn't fit like it did when I bought it. Turns out I didn't have an outfit, and I was throwing the party. Friday I decided I would make a skirt, a simple one. I looked up tutorials online for simple skirts and circle skirts. The circle skirt was big in the 50's, but you need a zipper and I wasn't in the mood for that effort. I decided to do a simple gathered skirt, two rectangles for the front and the back and a rectangle for the waistband. Easy. Things are always easy until I do them. I measured my waist and how long I wanted the skirt. I did everything right, except I didn't think when I cut out the front and back rectangles. They were 26 in. (length) by 53ish in. (width). Now, had I been thinking, one of these rectangles would have been plenty for my skirt; I didn't need two. I wasn't thinking and I went ahead and began sewing. I even made sure there were no raw seems (every now and again I decided I want to do this). Then came time to attach the waistband. There was so much material I couldn't gather the skirt. My basting stitch broke and I didn't care. I knew it wouldn't work to try and sew all those gathers. I decided to do a box pleat (a tutorial I had seen explained them). This worked like a charm. I'm glad to say it wasn't difficult, just time consuming because it's one of those things that have to be exact, you don't wing it. So, when all was said and done, it took 3-3 1/2 hours, but the skirt is awesome. I love it and I felt very 1950's housewife making it the night before.

TERRIBLE picture of myself, so look at the skirt.

Front

Pleats

Closure (upper left)

Back

Tuesday

Early morning (G was up at 5, H at 5:20, and J at 6). Okay day until nap time. Lack of sleep last night and at nap time made for a grumpy me since 3ish. I hate these days.

Edited to add: This evening has been better. My sister-friend came over and watched the boys while I walk/jogged (mostly walked) 2 miles. It was good to go exercise and it was good to be away from the boys for a bit (something that happens very rarely). I'm so glad today is ending in a good way.

Sunday's over...Monday is here

The weekend is over. It's back to work (of sorts). I find it funny how it feels like work never ends for me, and it doesn't, but with Husband working weekends normal ideas of time don't seem to apply to our family. The break comes during the week when he's home and can wrestle with the boys. Small moments of sanity for me wrapped up in the chaos of running and wrestling.

I'm struggling with life right now; with my ability to complete the tasks I need to and wanting to do what I want (without much success). I know we make time for what is important, and I'm trying. I don't feel like I'm succeeding much. Right now "I'm trying" is going to have to be enough...

The boys are growing so quickly. H loves to play and read. He wants attention constantly. One of his favorite ways to play is pretending. He makes friends with every kid he meets. G is a Mama's boy. He wants to be held and watch before jumping in and playing. He loves to climb and jump. J is more outgoing (though he has been clingy lately). He willing gives toys to his brothers and S, which is nice to see.