The person I want to be

The person I want to be is not the person I am. I was much closer to being that person 6 years ago in some ways, and in other ways I'm closer now. Daily I find myself doing things that I want to stop, though in the moment it doesn't always seem possible. Right now, in this quiet moment of the morning, all of it seems possible. Everything seems obtainable. I know it will mean hard work. I know it will me refocusing myself multiple times a day, possibly even multiple times an hour, but I want to do it. I want to make that effort. I want to be the best me I can be. I want my children to have the best mom they can. So, today, in this moment,  I will decide do my best and see the bright side, to not yell,  be an encourager, and to set the example. And, now, to begin with breakfast and getting ready for school.

Creative

I managed to get creative yesterday.

I have several projects that I need to complete (sewing coats for the twins, aprons for gifts, the list goes on), but I wanted something fun. I haven't done any scrapbooking or card making since about November. Last week I worked on one idea and pulled some different papers, embellishments, stamps, etc. out. Then, yesterday, I sat down and created. It felt nice. Maybe I'll do that again this week, maybe not. Either way, I'm glad I did some creating yesterday.

18 months

W was 18 months old yesterday. I don't know where the time has gone. He is growing so fast. He's tall (probably not for his age but he just looks so big). He talks a lot. He loves his brothers SO much. He loves his daddy and gets so excited when he comes home from work. He has quite the personality and brings joy to all of our lives.

His check up isn't until next week so I don't have any cool stats about his height or weight at the moment. I can tell you he says: sock and shoes, flashlight, applesauce, each of his brother's names (in his own way), Mama, Daddy, Grandma, Papa, eat, cup, up, please, thank you, your welcome, no (very emphatically - he practices but never uses it with us), uh-huh, uh-uh, ball, Becca, Paula, and I know there are more I'm forgetting. He can woof and howl like a dog and quack like a duck. He walks, runs, climbs (up and down), and tries to spin around in circles. He tries to jump but his feet don't quite make it off the ground yet. He eats most anything and nothing all at the same time. He'd be content to drink milk all day but I do my best to sneak a smoothie in there for nutrition purposes. He loves chocolate and has recently discovered Dum dums (thanks to the Drs office). He loves to be held and cuddled and tickled and does his best to wrestle and keep up with the big boys. He throws fits more than any of my other children and is willing to scream to make himself known if he feels he needs to. Daily I learn more about his personality and I am so excited to continue to do so. Part of me wants to keep him small, to hold on to the pudgy hands and desire to cuddle and be held, but I am also ready to see who he will become and to do my best to guide him as he grows.