Figuring it out

This is our second week of school. We are figuring out our new schedule. Some of it is easy, and some of it not so much. Still, I feel like we're doing okay. At this moment I'm sitting in my car waiting for the right time to get out and get my boys. W is asleep and I'm enjoying my quiet moment. This year our schedule isn't allowing me the "me time" I've had in the past, and I'm trying to keep my eyes open for little moments I can claim. So far, this time seems to be one of them. I'm working on figuring it out. I think today might also be the day we figure out what doing homework with three looks like (I'm a little intimidated by this one).

I may need to keep a book in the car and take these little 15 min snippets of each Monday through Friday and read (it's been so long since I've done that). Here's hoping the naps last the year. I'm not ready to give those up quite yet.

Kindergarten and 3rd Grade

We did it. We survived the first day of school (and I don't think a single tear was shed - I give W the credit for that as he did a fabulous job of keeping our focus slightly off of everything going on).

G and J had a great first day. They both came running out of the pickup gate telling me they didn't learn Spanish and they didn't get in trouble. It made me smile to see them so excited for their day (and ready to return today). G told me about playing with play doh, playing on the playground, making a new friend, and wanting to learn Spanish. J told me about watching a small bit of Finding Nemo (in Spanish), playing on the playground, only playing with G, and wanting to learn Spanish. It was so fun to video each of them separately and see what stood out most about the day they shared.

H also had a good day and I think is most excited about all the computer games/learning that he will participate in this year. He was much more low key in his talk of the day, but I think he's happy to be back to school.

Now, it's time for me to focus on getting our schedule figured out at home and how best to make our day work for us.

Kindergarten

Somehow it is time for my twins to enter kindergarten. I am excited for them, as they have been waiting for this day for a year now (this past year was full of anticipation for today - the first day of school). I am, also, terrified and overwhelmed and not ready. How on earth do I leave them at school? How do I walk away and come back almost 4 hours later?

I know I've done it before, but H was different. Yes, he is the first born, and there were moments I thought I might shed a tear, but he was in his element. He was ready. School hasn't been easy - he has some real struggles with certain aspects - but he LOVES people and helping and playing with friends. The twins are different, both from H and from each other, and while with H I felt we were doing the right thing I suddenly find myself compelled to homeschool and not to let them go. I won't (at least not yet). We will wake up (way to soon), have breakfast, get dressed, brush teeth, finish packing lunches and backpacks, take some pictures and be on our way. They will be together in the same classroom, a rock for one another. They will find their niches and cliques and play with new people while keeping tabs on one another. It may take a week or two but I'm sure they will thrive. Still, I had no idea this first day of school thing would get more difficult. I was sure it would be easier with each child. In a few short hours I guess we'll find out if I was right or wrong. At this moment I'm pretty sure my original thinking was wrong and I'm fairly certain I might be that mom sobbing as she watches her children walk through the doors (perhaps I'll be able to make it to the car).

Sewing

I made a quick shirt this weekend and am very excited to see my sister-friend try it on. I used a free pattern (click to go) that I found.

Five weeks ago my sister-friend had her first baby. He's a sweet little boy. She is now discovering how irritating it can be to find clothes that make feeding said baby easier (especially if out and about). I found the above shirt pattern and modified it to make her a shirt that will hopefully help. I took the front pattern piece and printed two. When putting the second one together I left off the pieces that had to be taped on the right (essentially leaving off about 2-3 inches) and rounded the bottom edge. I also cut the back and front to be the same length (the back length). When I sewed it up I layered the two front pieces so they form a type of wrap/tulip front.

I wish I could say this idea was all my own but I was trying to mimic several nursing shirts I saw when looking up nursing shirts on Pinterest. I do love how it turned out.

I don't have any pictures of her wearing it, just the ones below from before I gave it to her, but it does fit and it does work.

Today

Today on Facebook I posted: Today I find that one of me is not enough to do all that I want. 

There are so many people I love and want to help, and a few of those people have been in more need lately. While I don't always get do what I want (story of life, especially when four kiddos are added to that list), this week it seems even more like I should be able to do it all and I can't. My parents are watching my three youngest and I'm spending my days at school with my oldest (this has been in the works for a while and is finally happening). I'm loving my time with him, and watching him learn is great, and having him not be too embarrassed to hug me or blow me kisses in front of his peers is even more awesome, but knowing I'm down to one child makes it seem like I should be even more available to do things (despite the 6 hours spent at school each day - and can I say that is no joke, I need a nap now more than ever!). 

So to my friends whom I love like family but can't seem to get to your house or make you dinner or help in whatever way you need, know you're on my mind and in my heart and I really want to but somehow I cannot make time stretch no matter how hard I try. Maybe next week when I have four children back under my roof I'll find a way to make it work because sometimes I find the normal is actually easier than the not so normal (even if it means more kids). 

*Side note: I'm crazy popular in the 2nd grade. If anyone is looking for a good workout routine try racing a group of 7-8 year olds. I can't promise you'll win but if you spend one recess break trying you will certainly be feeling it the next day (or later that afternoon).

Busy

Life is busy. I've been thinking about posting things and not doing it. Sometimes life has gotten in the way, sometimes I'm too tired, sometimes I don't feel like dealing with trying to write a post on my phone, etc., etc., etc.

So, I don't have much to say or a plan for where this all is going. I'm just getting words out.

Life is busy. I had no idea what it meant to be a "soccer mom." Those women (and men too for the soccer dads) don't get enough credit. I can only imagine what next year will look like with the twins having practice once a week in addition to game time instead of on Saturday's along with game time. One more reason I'm saying no spring soccer. I think I need a break for a year.

I signed up to participate in a craft fair. Very exciting. I don't have enough done and I have 1.5 weeks to get it all done. Currently I'm wondering why I thought this was a good idea. I'm excited, scared, and over it all at the same time. Hopefully, after this week, I'll be able to get some good sewing time in. It may mean that I have to stay up a little later, and I don't mind that, but I'm going to have to find out a way to stay awake. I've been super tired lately.

We have passes to Disneyland. It's awesome. I wish we could go every day. I'm glad we can't go every day. The boys, especially the twins, would love to go every day. We did go Tuesday and it was great. There were very few people (by Disneyland standards) there and we were able to do things we haven't done yet. I took the boys by myself. My mom called me brave. Normally I think I am more crazy than brave, but it was nice to hear. The boys were awesome, we had minimal issues, and everyone got along. It's a happy memory and I'd do it again (though not too soon, those days take a lot of energy out of me).

Today we went to the San Diego Wild Animal Park. Somehow it was more stressful than Disneyland (maybe because I didn't know my way around and my feral children like to run wild). It was still a great day because we got to hang out with good friends and the boys did so well (we had 6 boys between us two moms). Yay for good times and cute pictures (I hope, better check those out).

Life is busy. I miss those days of spending time together with my boys when they were all smaller. I know they are growing quickly and, while I do miss them when they're at school, I really do like this stage of life. It would be nice if we had less to do but it certainly could be worse. I think I'll take a deep breath, look at some old pictures of how cute and small the older three were, be glad they don't wear diapers anymore, and enjoy this time. A time where I can carry on fun conversations with all of my boys (even W sort of), where the world is still full of wonder regardless of where we are, and they aren't quite grown up yet so they still need an want me.

Struggle

There are so many struggles in life, and right now I feel more aware of them. I'm hoping that as I struggle I'll grow. I'm hoping that in these struggles I can be more than I feel I can. I'm hoping that light will shine out of what often times seems so dark to me. Some days the struggles don't seem as bad - the kids listen, the house looks decent, laundry isn't a mountain, old clothes fit that haven't fit for the last 7ish years (read pre-H). Small little victories to make things seem doable. Other days the struggle seems more than I think I can handle - constant fighting of stubborn (or strong-willed) boys (like their Mama...and Daddy...and Grandpa....and this list could get really long), miscommunications with Husband, hectic schedules, lack of sleep, etc.

Here are a few of today's happy moments, the light in the struggle.

J had me laughing. I can't remember what he did, but it just wouldn't work right. He was a comedy of errors, and he didn't know they were errors, but it so easily could have frustrated me and it didn't. It was wonderful to be able to look at him being him and smile; to not feel irritated or rushed - to appreciate what an amazing person he is. I really wish I could remember what happened.

G was a little ray of sunshine also. They got two mini scones each. He saved one for his Aunt Becca. Then he halved it for her (and ate one of the halves). He shared a bit of Aunt Becca's half with his baby brother, and when I suggested he shared more he continued to say the bit that was left was Aunt Becca's. (I did convince him to eat it and share with his brother, which may seem terrible but Aunt Becca thanked me for not having to eat something his hands were all over. She loves my boys but we all have our lines about what we will and won't eat/drink when it comes to sharing with kids. I don't know where his hands had been so I totally understand). He wanted to make her special (and he used those exact words) by giving her a gift.

W, who hasn't yet turned 2 (only a week to go) saw a mess on the floor where his brother had spilled yogurt and asked for a napkin to clean it up. I gave it to him and  he cleaned the floor. It was not a small mess, but my baby cleaned it up for his brother.

H, who has complained of a tummy ache all day today, smiled at me because I brought medicine to his school to make him feel better. It was the best smile ever. One that told me he loved me and he knew I thought he was special because I drove all the way to his school.

Each of these boys is one of my struggles. I love them, and I know they make me a better person because they challenge me. Sometimes it's hard to look past the challenge - not that I forget who they are and that I love them, but to remember that there is more to each of them than how I'm feeling about their behavior or attitudes or messes right at that moment. I'm glad that today I can say I tried (and I think succeeded) in seeing each of them.